When life hands Chuck Norris lemons, he makes orange juice.
Confucius Say: Masturbation is a solo played on a private organ.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
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